Chaos Vs. Window....Gravity Wins!!
There are people in this world who have a strange connection, a bond if you will, between the most unlikely of things. You have your horse whisperers and pet psychiatrists; your automechanics who can simply listen to a car and know what the problem is; and your web-surfers who have an uncanny, William Gibsonesque knack for intuitively finding exactly what they want on the Net, no matter how obscure and nigh impossible to find, within 2 minutes.
And then there is me. I have a peculiar link with inanimate objects. Whatever this nexus is, it involves a lot of petty-bickering and what could best be described as childish sibling rivalry. I have had to battle a pair of shorts in an attempt to escape them. I have killed kettles. And I've been involved in a lot of other silly, embarrassing incidents/melees that I'd rather not go into right now.
The latest escapade involved the screen in my bedroom window. At first I thought it was a screen held in with a latch and a really horrid set of hinges that needed replacing. Today I discovered that my window screen is in fact held in place with only a latch. I had opened the screen about an inch or so, which was as much as it seemed to allow, and then tried closing it. The screen, it seems, had other ideas. And so the battle of wills and wits ensued. And in the end, I think we both came out losers.
I fought to bring in the persnickety screen and latch it shut. Then with a great heave I brought the latch into the frame...and the screen demonstrated that Newton knew his stuff. Out pops the screen, and down it plummets onto a hapless and unsuspecting plastic deckchair below. I, however, am standing there with my head now sticking outside of the house, drumming my fingertips upon the windowframe and thankful that the only witnesses around to see that were the birds.
A quick trip downstairs and onto the back patio, and the screen was retrieved. I guess the landing took out most of the screen's proverbial wind, since there was very little of a fight as I now put the entire screen back into place in my window. The battle has ended, but I fear the relationship between the windowscreen and myself will ever be the same again...
In other news, I have recently been entertaining the notion of starting up my own webpage: www.dingosateyourbaby.com If anything should come of it, I'm betting it's a lawsuit.
Today's Lesson: the window screen in my bedroom takes approximately 2.3 seconds (or the time it takes for one to casually remark, "Well, shit.") to fall from its window frame on the second floor and have its landing be softened by one of the plastic patio chairs.
posted by Phillip at 4:54 PM
